Why arrange marriage can be happy for you ?
Why arrange marriage can be happy for you ?
Arranged marriages have been a significant part of many cultures around the world for centuries. While the concept may seem foreign or even outdated to those from societies that emphasize love marriages, it remains a prevalent practice in countries like India, Pakistan, China, and Japan. The notion that an arranged marriage can lead to happiness is often met with skepticism in modern, individualistic societies, where the idea of marrying without romantic love is sometimes difficult to comprehend. However, there are several compelling reasons why arranged marriages can indeed be a source of long-lasting happiness. This content will explore the various factors that contribute to the success and happiness in arranged marriages.
1. Family Involvement and Support
One of the most significant advantages of arranged marriages is the involvement and support of the families. In many cultures, marriage is not just a union between two individuals but also a merging of two families. When families play a role in selecting a partner, they are likely to ensure that the match is compatible not only in terms of the couple’s personalities but also in terms of family values, traditions, and expectations. This familial support can be a strong foundation for a successful marriage, as it provides a safety net that can help the couple navigate challenges and conflicts.
Family involvement often means that the couple is entering a marriage with the blessing and approval of their loved ones. This collective support can alleviate the pressure on the couple and contribute to a sense of unity and belonging. In many cases, parents and elders use their experience and wisdom to help guide the couple, offering advice and mediation when necessary. This can be especially beneficial in the early stages of marriage, where understanding and compromise are essential.
2. Shared Cultural and Religious Values
In arranged marriages, families often prioritize matching individuals who share similar cultural, religious, and moral values. This shared foundation can be crucial for long-term compatibility and happiness. When a couple shares the same values, they are more likely to have aligned life goals, similar perspectives on important issues like raising children, managing finances, and maintaining family traditions. This alignment reduces the likelihood of fundamental disagreements that can strain a marriage.
For example, a couple from the same cultural background is more likely to have a mutual understanding of each other’s customs and traditions, leading to fewer misunderstandings. Similarly, shared religious beliefs can provide a strong spiritual connection, giving the couple a common ground for making important life decisions and overcoming difficulties.
3. Emphasis on Commitment and Responsibility
Arranged marriages often emphasize the importance of commitment and responsibility over romantic love. While love is undoubtedly a crucial element in any marriage, the arranged marriage model places a strong focus on the idea that love can grow over time, with commitment and mutual respect as the foundation. This perspective encourages couples to work through their differences and challenges rather than giving up when the initial passion fades.
In arranged marriages, there is often a greater sense of duty to make the relationship work, not just for the couple themselves but also for their families. This responsibility can lead to a more pragmatic approach to marriage, where both partners are willing to put in the effort to maintain a healthy and happy relationship. This focus on long-term commitment rather than short-term infatuation can result in a more stable and enduring marriage.
4. Reduced Pressure and Unrealistic Expectations
In love marriages, there is often an intense pressure to maintain the “spark” and live up to the idealized version of romantic love portrayed in movies and media. This can lead to unrealistic expectations, where couples expect their relationship to be perfect and free from conflicts. When these expectations are not met, it can lead to disappointment and dissatisfaction.
Arranged marriages, on the other hand, tend to start with more realistic expectations. Both partners enter the marriage understanding that it will take time to build a strong connection and that challenges are a natural part of any relationship. This pragmatic approach can reduce the pressure on the couple, allowing them to focus on building a solid partnership based on mutual respect, understanding, and shared goals.
5. Compatibility Matching
In arranged marriages, compatibility is often the primary consideration. Families typically take into account various factors such as social background, education, interests, and even astrological compatibility before finalizing a match. This careful selection process aims to ensure that the couple is well-suited for each other in terms of personality, lifestyle, and long-term goals.
Compatibility in these areas can significantly contribute to marital happiness. For example, when both partners have similar educational backgrounds and career aspirations, they are more likely to understand each other’s professional demands and support each other’s ambitions. Similarly, shared interests can provide common ground for bonding and enjoying time together.
6. Emotional Maturity and Preparedness
Arranged marriages often occur at a stage in life when both individuals are emotionally mature and ready for the responsibilities of marriage. In many cultures, arranged marriages are seen as a transition into adulthood, where both partners are expected to take on new roles as spouses, parents, and members of an extended family.
This sense of preparedness can be beneficial for the marriage, as both individuals enter the union with a clear understanding of what is expected of them. They are more likely to approach the marriage with a sense of responsibility and a willingness to work together to build a life. This maturity can help the couple navigate the challenges of married life with greater resilience and understanding.
7. Long-Term Focus
Arranged marriages are often entered into with a long-term perspective. The focus is on building a life together, raising a family, and growing old with each other. This long-term focus can be a key factor in marital happiness, as it encourages couples to invest in their relationship and work through difficulties rather than seeking immediate gratification.
When both partners are committed to the idea of a lifelong partnership, they are more likely to approach their relationship with patience and understanding. This long-term commitment can foster a deep sense of security and trust, which are essential components of a happy marriage.
8. Lower Divorce Rates
Statistics often show that arranged marriages have lower divorce rates compared to love marriages. While it’s important to recognize that cultural factors play a significant role in this, it also suggests that arranged marriages can be successful in the long run. The lower divorce rates can be attributed to several factors, including the emphasis on commitment, the support of extended families, and the careful selection process.
In many cases, couples in arranged marriages are more likely to work through their differences and seek solutions rather than opting for divorce. The involvement of families can also play a role in mediating conflicts and providing the necessary support to help the couple resolve issues.
9. Potential for Love to Grow
One of the most beautiful aspects of arranged marriages is the potential for love to grow over time. While the marriage may not begin with a whirlwind romance, it can develop into a deep and enduring love based on mutual respect, understanding, and shared experiences. This gradual development of love can be more sustainable and fulfilling in the long run.
In many arranged marriages, couples report that their love for each other deepened over the years as they navigated life’s challenges together. This slow-burning love can create a strong bond that is less likely to be shaken by external pressures or difficulties.
10. Cultural and Social Acceptance
In societies where arranged marriages are the norm, there is often a strong cultural and social acceptance of this practice. This acceptance can reduce the stigma or judgment that might be faced by couples in love marriages who choose to go against societal expectations. In an arranged marriage, the couple is often seen as fulfilling their cultural or familial duties, which can lead to a greater sense of pride and accomplishment.
This cultural acceptance can also lead to a supportive community, where other couples in arranged marriages share similar experiences and challenges. This sense of community can provide additional support and encouragement, contributing to the overall happiness of the marriage.
11. The Role of Patience and Adaptability
Patience and adaptability are crucial qualities in any successful marriage, and these qualities are often emphasized in arranged marriages. Since the couple may not know each other well at the start, they must exercise patience as they learn about each other’s habits, preferences, and personalities. This process of discovery can be a rewarding experience as it allows the couple to grow together and develop a deep understanding of one another.
Adaptability is also essential, as both partners may need to adjust their expectations and habits to accommodate their spouse. This willingness to adapt can lead to a more harmonious relationship, where both individuals feel valued and understood. In arranged marriages, this adaptability is often seen as a necessary component of a successful partnership.
12. Economic and Social Stability
Arranged marriages can also offer economic and social stability, which can contribute to the overall happiness of the couple. In many cases, families consider the financial stability and social status of the potential partner before arranging the marriage. This consideration can help ensure that the couple has a stable foundation to build their life together.
Economic stability can reduce stress and provide the couple with the resources they need to pursue their goals and dreams. Similarly, social stability, such as a strong support network of family and friends, can provide the couple with a sense of security and belonging. These factors can contribute to a more fulfilling and contented married life.
13. Openness to Growth and Learning
Arranged marriages often require both partners to be open to growth and learning. Since the couple may not have chosen each other based on romantic love, they must be willing to invest time and effort into building a strong relationship. This openness to growth can lead to personal development as both individuals learn to communicate effectively, resolve conflicts, and support each other’s aspirations.
The process of growing together can create a deep bond between the couple, as they share life experiences and overcome challenges as a team. This growth can lead to a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction, as both partners contribute to the success of their marriage.
14. Cultural Preservation and Continuity
In cultures where arranged marriages are common, this practice plays a significant role in preserving cultural traditions and ensuring continuity. By marrying within their cultural or religious community, couples can maintain and pass on their heritage to future generations. This preservation of culture can create a sense of pride and identity, which can contribute to the couple’s overall happiness.
Cultural preservation can also lead to a stronger connection with extended family members, as the couple continues to uphold shared traditions and values. This connection can provide additional support and enrich the couple’s life with a sense of belonging and purpose.
15. The Power of Choice and Consent
While arranged marriages are often seen as restrictive, it’s important to note that in many modern arranged marriages, the couple has the power of choice and consent. In many cases, the families suggest potential partners, but the final decision lies with the individuals involved. This element of choice can empower the couple, as they enter the marriage with the knowledge that they have made an informed decision.
The ability to consent to the marriage can also lead to a greater sense of commitment, as both partners have actively chosen to be with each other. This sense of agency can contribute to a stronger and more fulfilling marriage, as both individuals feel responsible for the success of their relationship.
Conclusion
In conclusion, arranged marriages can indeed be a source of happiness for many couples. The combination of family support, shared values, commitment, and realistic expectations can create a strong foundation for a successful and fulfilling marriage. While the concept of arranged marriage may seem foreign to those from love marriage cultures, it’s important to recognize that different cultural practices can offer unique advantages.
Ultimately, the success and happiness of a marriage depend on the individuals involved and their willingness to work together, communicate effectively, and support each other’s growth and aspirations. Whether through love or arrangement, a happy marriage is built on mutual respect, understanding, and a shared commitment to building a life together.
